Have you ever asked this question to your significant other? Or pondered this anytime during the dating stage?
Or when you are in doubt if her actions match her words that she loves you? Or you simply believe she doesn’t love you?
We all have different definitions of what love means. Love may mean the following to you:
Brewing coffee for you in the morning
Being physically affectionate towards you
Always cooking nice meals
Cuddling with you in bed to feel cozy during cold winter nights
Enjoying similar hobbies together
Love may mean the following to her:
Bringing her flowers to surprise her when it’s not her birthday or Valentine’s Day
Celebrating birthdays together
Warm embraces when she is stressed
Giving her undivided attention as she shares about her day
Having breakfast/coffee together to feel connected
Our model of love or love languages oftentimes come from our own experiences from past relationships, or from what we observed from our parents, or from others at a young age.
Have you asked your partner what her model of love looks like?
How she perceives your behavior in your relationship with her and how you show up in relationships may be entirely different.
The key is to be aware we all define love differently based on what we’ve been conditioned to believe.
We have preexisting beliefs and standards based on our experiences and our past, and we measure our partner against those behavioral or emotional standards.
Next time you want to ask your partner if she loves you, it’s much more empowering to flip the question. Instead of asking, “Do you love me?”, you can say, “Do you know how much I love you?!”
～ Love you more ❤️
Kolline