There is no secret, or easy fix to getting a woman to orgasm. But on the path to meeting your soulmate, it’s a vital lesson in love and sex. Though not always straightforward, it’s an extremely noble and worthy cause. When you’re being a selfless conqueror in the bedroom, your lover will feel altogether more attractive and appreciated.
And like any great battle, getting a woman to orgasm is not one won entirely on the battleground – or bed, in this case. So, taking inspiration from a truly remarkable statesman, like the great Julius Caesar, you should act with intelligence, diplomacy, and extreme generosity.
If you’re truly committed to getting a woman to orgasm, you must learn to put aside your own needs or arrogance. And if you’re looking to emerge victorious, you must above all, channel Caesar’s persistence and motivation – afterall, he came, he saw, he conquered.
- He Came*…
(*Not what you’re thinking, men).
The first and most important step in getting a woman to orgasm is for you to be present. Be in the moment; fully arrive in the space you share with her. Let her know you’re available and interested, through body language and gentle touches.
Do you know how rare it is for women to orgasm the first time they have sex? This takes commitment – it’s not something you’ll achieve in a fleeting visit. Avoid checking your phone or device when you’re with her – don’t create the impression that you have somewhere else to be. Craft an emotional, face to face connection, which takes time and consistency.
The more engaged you are with her, the more engaged she will feel she can be with you. Make your time together exciting and unpredictable but ensure she still feels secure in your presence. In the bedroom, you should build her confidence – eye contact is a sign you’re present and in the moment. Be selfless – this is not about rushing to the finish line, so do not finish first.
- He Saw!
The second step in your conquest is to be attentive. The more you know about her body, and the more familiar you are with it, the more likely you are to make her climax.
Get to know the woman you’re with – both inside and outside the bedroom. Ask her questions about her preferences, likes and dislikes. Connect with her on every level first; pick up on her habits, or note her favorite flowers to buy her. This will all help you to build intimacy with her.
For women, so much of what turns us on is anticipation, so don’t rush to become physical. Once you’re comfortable in a place to experiment with foreplay, take note of what she enjoys – make communication the center focus of everything you do. Make her feel secure enough to be honest about what she is turned on by – and take note of this.
Try to avoid taking inspiration from watching porn. Porn is typically made by men, for men – so there is very little to be learnt when it comes to women, pleasure and orgasms. There is so much more than can be gleaned from an intimate, face to face conversation with a woman in a secure, romantic setting.
- … He Conquered
While some women can experience multiple orgams during intercourse, other women rarely or never orgasm. Your conquest should be about the full experience – not the final hurdle.
Don’t shy away from using tools, or toys, to help her orgasm – this doesn’t equal failure. For many women, this is a normal and enjoyable part of sex and climaxing. Remember to enjoy the process.
Perhaps this battle won’t be won on the first day – it may take some further strategizing between the two of you. But with grit and determination, as well as a connection that’s meaningful and honest, it will be won with time. The best battles often are.
～ Love you more ❤️
Kolline