I am useless!
I am useless!
I should die!
One month ago-
I got a DM from a man on this platform.
He sounded suicidal.
“Please help me! Am I useless?” He cried out.
I decided to do a zoom with him.
When I got on zoom…
He shared..
That..
A woman had called him-
Useless.
He claimed.
He had never been sexually intimate with a woman.
It was his first time.
He had performance anxiety.
She had no patience.
I told him majority of the men would experience performance anxiety some time in their lives.
If he believes he has sexual arousal problems, he needs to see a sex therapist or a doctor.
But if the woman involved..
Did not have any compassion and called him names-
Would she be the right woman for him?
He felt emasculated as a man.
He said he just wanted to feel loved..
And that-
In his culture, his parents never told him they loved him.
I said, “Here is your homework.”
A very simple one.
“Look at yourself in the mirror every morning and say I love you, 10 times!”
He said, “I have never done that.”
I replied, “Practice makes perfect.”
He asked if we can practice.
I gladly said ok.
But I didn’t anticipate what’s going to happen next.
I said “repeat after me, say I love you.”
He repeated after me with an “I love you.”
Then, he teared up.
Quietly…
Slowly….
He couldn’t breathe.
I said again.
“I love you.”
He repeated again.
“I love you.”
Tears came down on his cheeks.
It was an unforgettable moment.
I realized.
It was a magical moment.
I was in Los Angeles.
And.
He was 8,000 miles away.
I felt-
As if..
The “I love you’s” were slowly filling up his cup.
His “self love” cup.
A cup he never knew how to fill.
As practice made perfect,
His face slowly softened..
As he continued with his “I love you’s”
From sadness, anger and resentment..
His face slowly brightening up..
Then…
It blossomed to a full bloomed smiling face.
I can relate..
As my parents never shared that they loved me.
Not verbally.
But..
We can adapt.
We can learn.
How to love ourselves.
We can transform.
That’s what coaching is all about.
Isn’t it?
～ Love you more ❤️
Kolline