Match of My Dreams



There’s a multitude of reasons you could be attracting the wrong women in your life. As a dating coach, I’ve been offering dating tips to single men, searching for their soulmates, for years.  But if you’ve been unsuccessful at finding love, this doesn’t mean you’re broken. Your attitude to dating, and what constitutes as the right person for you, probably just needs fixing.  And once you’ve made these subtle tweaks to your outlook on love, dating and finding your soulmate will flow with more stability as you rebuild your love life.  YOU’RE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO FIX YOU: The woman you’re looking for shouldn’t show up just to fix your heart or help lick your wounds. Stop searching for someone in times of vulnerability, because you think she may help you feel better about your past.  You’ve got to do that all by yourself, even if it takes some soul searching. If you meet someone when you’re feeling a little fragmented, chances are she’ll get to know an altered version of you. Fix yourself first, then learn to grow together.  Just come out of a nasty breakup or need a date for a wedding? Don’t look for someone for the wrong reasons, or to fill a void. Would you want to be someone else’s distraction or rebound? Well, she doesn’t want to be yours either.  YOU’RE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO FIX: You don’t have to heal someone to create value or meaning in a romantic setting… as tempting as it may be. Every guy wants to be a Superhero. Sure, in the short term swooping in and saving the Damsel in distress feels great, but have you thought about the long term consequences?  A woman who is fragile, or reeling from a recent breakup, might not be in the best headspace for finding love. A true Superhero recognizes when it’s time to step back. Broken spirits may be alluring, but it pays to be cautious. You may be the security she’s searching for right now, but what about your own needs? Playing the fixer, and rebuilding someone else’s home often means you neglect your own.  YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A QUICK FIX: Playing the field or playing around? Well, being a Player might just be wasting valuable game time. When you’re out at a bar, or going through all your dating apps, you may be on the path to securing tonight’s quick fix but in doing so, you’re neglecting potentially meaningful connections elsewhere.  What does the woman you want to hook up with tonight look like versus your forever soulmate? Are you looking for a quick fix of a meaningless fling, or the real deal? You may wake up with regret at last night’s rash hookup. Learn to place more value in your long term goals for your love life, than in temporary feelings of lust.  YOU’RE TRYING TO FIX SOMETHING, WHICH IS BROKEN: There comes a point in any relationship, no matter the length of dating, when one of you knows it’s time to walk away. Learn to have the confidence to say goodbye to the things that are beyond repair. Don’t hoard relationships which no longer spark joy. If you’re routinely gluing things back together, is it perhaps time for a new beginning? Persevering with the wrong woman will not serve you well in the future. Don’t ignore red flags when dating; they’re there to protect us from injury. The sooner you part ways with potentially destructive aspects of your love life, the quicker you can rebuild. Trust your gut when looking for love, if you see something new in someone that sparks your interest – explore it. They may not be perfect, but neither are you. ~ Love you more ❤️ Kolline

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