Why?
Why?
A few days ago-
A 55 year old man…
Zack-
Was on a consultation call
With me..
He asked-
“Why can’t his ex wife…
Coparent with him..
The way HE wanted to.”
I said, “What did you mean?!”
He explained. “Why can’t we sit down and discuss things together?”
I said.. “Seriously?”
Not that I don’t believe couples can coparent after a divorce.
I coparent with my ex.
I meant.
Zack explained it very specifically.
How he wanted it to be done.
“Sit down and discuss things together.” He said.
I questioned him..
“Why do you think you are divorced?”
“Because certain things you couldn’t come to an agreement?” I confirmed.
Right.
And yet.
He expects after years of not living together after the divorce.
That-
All of a sudden..
They can now sit down and discuss things.
When they didn’t as a couple..
In their marriage.
What’s changed?
I wonder..
He made me think of Einstein’s definition on insanity.
“Do the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
He further explained.
“For the sake of my son,” he said.
Ok.
“Were you able to keep your marriage intact FOR the sake of your son?” I asked further.
He replied, “No.”
Exactly.
“Let go the need to control her.” I said.
He claimed, “That’s not controlling her.”
Yes it is.
When we “expect” someone to change without them wanting to change for themselves.
Or without us changing internally..
That’s a form of imposing our expectations on them.
That they should “act” or “be” a certain way to provide “our” desired outcome.
Let it go…
Let it all go..
Life will be so much easier..
When we just focus on ourselves.
And not the “expectations” for others.
Focus on the things that “WE” can change “within” our control.
Because.
When you keep focusing on and get fixated on that one thing you can’t have, you are focusing on the LACK of it.
At the same time, you are creating the RESISTANCE of getting the outcome that you desire.
Everyone has their free will.
When we change ourselves internally, the dynamic of the relationship may SHIFT..
Let it go!
It will flow!
Agree?
～ Love you more ❤️
Kolline